A Flight to the Past

I was waiting at the departure lounge twitchily hoping for the boarding announcements to be made.  My flight from Bangalore to Washington, USA was delayed by 3 hours. From Washington, I had another connecting flight to take to Chicago, my destination point. I was dozing intermittently trying to overcome the monotony of sitting alone at the international terminal with so many others probably travelling with their families. A loud wail from an infant not very far from behind my row jolted me off from my nap. I turned back annoyingly to see what was troubling this little one which was rather adding to the disruption of the little serenity that was left behind amidst the existing bustle of the passengers around.

I captured a quick glimpse of those beautiful eyes again very familiar to me after five years that mesmerized me until today. She moved those curly hairs falling on her face with one hand and lifted her baby with another hand from the stroller to comfort him. She pulled the bottle of milk from her bag and started feeding her child. I could hear my heart palpitating, droplets of my perspiration falling on my hands as I saw that alluring face which once stole my heart and left me broken forever. I sat there dumb-struck. 

Neha was an all rounder in our college and also one of the most elegant and charming girl, spellbinding the hearts of most of the boys. I was privileged to be her boyfriend – correction – “ex-boyfriend”. I still distinctly remember our last moment that left both of us dejected and heartbroken. 

“Manu it has been four years since we are in this relationship...Both of us are earning decently well and what are we waiting for. Let’s get married” as Neha expressed her anxious emotions I was contemplating something else. I was never a self-contented person. My dreams were bigger and marriages were never on my cards. “Neha it’s too early and moreover I don’t think I am ever cut-out for marriages. Family, kids all these are far-fetched things in my life... I want to purse my higher education abroad, work for some giant firms and finally start my own company. All this will take a very long time. I thought we are having a great time now, so what is the hurry to confine ourselves to marital shelves?” As I told I saw her eyes with immense disappointment and distress. “You just wanted to have fun with me and not get committed to me is it? You can still achieve all these even if we are married?” as Neha questioned me I impassively responded to her “What do you mean I am not committed to you? I love you and only you. We can live together. Is marriage the only way to win your trust on me?” Neha stood still gaping at me. Her face showed wrath and her heart profoundly hurt left with pain. She was a simple thinking woman brought up in a conservative middle-class family. She was not open to the kind of relationship I suggested.

“Manu, I am an ordinary woman who loves a man, wants to get married to him and spend the rest of my life with him. I thought you were that one. But I was terribly wrong. We are two different individuals who want different things from life. I cannot be stringed on to the type of relationship you want me to lead with you. Its best we both move on in our lives in our own ways.” I was appalled as I heard Neha spoke. “Are you trying to break-up with me?” as I told, Neha uttered for the one last time “Good luck for your ambitions Manu!” She walked without turning back and that was the last time I saw her.

  

At the airport, I finally heard the call for my flight. There were still 30 minutes left for my departure. Before getting up and joining the queue at the boarding gate, I gathered some courage to meet Neha and talk to her. She was busy packing up some stuff and as she bent down to put her son who was asleep by now on his stroller, I greeted her, “Hi Neha!” 

She immediately turned up and looked at me in astonishment. “Oh uh...!! Hi Manu, What a pleasant surprise!! How are you?” she made a matured move and started a casual talk. 

“I am good. How are you Neha?”

 “Very Well! Thanks! It is so surreal... Is it not five years now Manu?”

 “Hmm... more than that.”

“World is so small... So are you also travelling to Washington?”  As she talked I was enthralled by her beauty again. I stared into her eyes to find my lost girl but returned discovering a new girl, a mother who seemed blissful with her new life.

We marched towards the boarding gate as we were discussing about the changes in our life.

I was rather excited about the feeling of travelling with my lost love after so long. After we boarded the flight, I exchanged my seat with another co-passenger who was supposed to sit next to Neha, to grab an opportunity to spend the next 20 odd hours in the flight with her.

After we settled and the flight took off, Neha dropped her child into the bassinet that she had reserved for him, sat on her seat and then looked through the window probably lost in some thoughts. I cleared my throat and started the conversation.

“Your son is really very cute... What is his name? How old is he? “

“Thanks! His name is Vihaan. He is 1 year old now.”

“Do you stay in Washington?” I asked.

“Uh... No... My husband is there on an official visit to Washington from past four months. I am going there to stay with him for a few weeks and would return to India together with him. We live in Bangalore. What about you?”

“I live in Chicago. I had come to India to settle some property issues of my ancestral house. I have my own Analytics and Marketing Company in Chicago. Do you work in Bangalore?”

“That’s awesome! So you have accomplished what you wanted.” she remarked at me probably a bit sarcastically. She continued “I was working until last year. I have quit now to take care of my child. My husband also works for an Analytical firm at a very senior position.” I saw pride in her face as she spoke about her husband realizing that she is leading a complete life which she aspired for.

“Oh! That’s amazing. I am really happy for you.”  I told her albeit not completely true from my heart. I did not want to know any further details about her husband for the obvious reasons and decided to divert the topic to something else. A few hours later due to the weariness of a long wait at the airport I retired to sleep.

I woke up a little late. I saw Neha, briskly having her breakfast while her 1 year old was playing in his bassinet with some toys that she carried for him. I also saw my breakfast kept on my tray.

“Hey Good Morning! You were fast asleep while they were serving breakfast so thought I would fetch one for you too so that you could have after you were awake” she told.  That was so typical of Neha. She was the most caring and considerate person I have ever known.

“Thank you! I will just fresh up and be back.” As I walked towards the washroom I was feeling heavy in my heart.

I had my croissant and sandwiches for breakfast followed by coffee which Neha helped me prepare quite precisely. Later we chattered about various things starting from our college, all those funny moments we spent, just to break that odd and uncomfortable feelings both of us were going through.

“Oh I did not realize. It’s time for Vihaan’s feed” she blurted.  “Do you want me to help you prepare the bottle of milk?” I gently tried offering her help.

“No. I will feed him now. Sweety baby it’s time for just you and mommy.” She gracefully picked her baby and started feeding him. I tried squinting at her but turned my face away in coy. I covered her so that no one else could see her nurture her baby.

I realized how much I missed her. I have attained great heights in my career but always felt some vacuum in life. I used to return home from work just to see an empty place with no one around to welcome me, to love me, to live with me. My mother and father had a nasty divorce when I was just 10 years old, too young to comprehend the complexities in marital life. Their living instilled a grave sense of fear in my mind about marriages which was the genuine reason behind me not wanting to marry Neha. I was very apprehensive about handling the challenges of having a family of my own. Ever since my parents were estranged, I lived with my paternal grand-parents. I seldom used to visit my parents. After my grandparents demise, I decided to move far away from my parents and live on my own.

“Can you just hold him for a moment please?” Neha handed over her son to me while she was getting some stuff from her hand bag. I was nervous, hesitant to lift her child. I had never handled a baby ever in my life. Quite reluctantly, I carried him from her and laid him in my arms. I felt his soft and gentle skin touching mine as I took my first close look of her baby. There were these mystical vibes spreading all across by body as I saw him. It was stupendous and I was feeling very special to hold this beautiful gift of God.  He smiled at me benevolently and his eyes twinkled like a star. He resembled her a lot and his smile was exactly like hers. I realized I was wrong. It’s not very tough to have a family especially if it is with your loved one who will share the warmth and happiness for the rest of your life as Neha once told me.

Finally after a long flight, we reached Washington airport. Both of us alighted from the flight. I accompanied Neha towards the check-out baggage counter to help her pick her bags. Mine was a straight check-in to Chicago so I could only collect my bags there.

She carried her bags, moved her baby stroller and was walking towards the exit gate. I was walking a few yards behind her. She turned back and looked at me. “It was a great journey Manu. Why don’t you come near the exit gate, I will introduce my husband?”

“Uh... no, it’s OK. I am indeed getting a little late to catch my next flight and I need to find my transit gate too. Maybe some other time” I politely refused. She comprehended the uneasiness from my tone and did not force me again.

“OK then. Hope we will meet some other time. Take care Manu. Good bye!”

I spectacled her walk towards the exit gate while I tried moving towards the transit gate. But there was this element of inquisitiveness within me to see that lucky man who stole my love. From far without her noticing me I tried to quickly take a glimpse of her husband. I saw her running towards her husband and embracing him with tears in her eyes as they were meeting after so many months. I enviously looked at him as I felt her love for him. He planted a kiss on her forehead and then bent down to lift his child.

That family should probably have been mine but I foolishly let it slip off my hands. I turned and without looking back strode towards the transit gate. This strange encounter with my lost love had changed my presumptions in life. I thought probably even I can have a family if only I could meet a girl like Neha whom I could love as much as I had loved her. I sat at the transit gate brooding over those wonderful memories of traveling with Neha waiting for my next flight which was again delayed by 3 hours!!!

They Say Marriages Are Made In Heaven

“Madhoo come home early in the evening today... say around 4.00 p.m. Is that OK?” as my mom told I was bewildered wondering why she was asking me to return from college so early as I normally come home only by around 6 p.m. after my computer lab practice sessions. 

“What is the matter mom? Is there anything important happening at home?” as I dubiously questioned her she responded “The guy’s parents are coming today to see you and meet our family. Didn’t I tell you last night? Anyway I don’t want them to be kept waiting. They will be here by 5.00 p.m. You can be home an hour before so that you will have sufficient time to get ready. Is that clear?” I was flabbergasted as I heard my mom. “What the hell mom! I am just 20 years old and not yet completed my graduation. I thought you were joking yesterday. I am in no hurry to get married now. I want to finish my B.E. and work after that” I scornfully remarked at my mom.

“I am not asking you to get married tomorrow. It is a very prospective alliance for you. Padma aunty got this from her known contact. All you have to do is just see the boy and if you like we can proceed further. If you insist you could probably get married and still pursue your engineering and may be even work if the boy’s family is OK with it. What say?”  I was stupefied at my mom’s imbecile statements as I saw her eyes beaming with confidence and pride about her obtuse presumptions. Her idea of marriage was so naive and could not believe my mother was so obsolete in her perspective.  Padma aunty is my dad’s elder sister. After getting both her daughters married she is now into full time match making job for other eligible bachelorettes in our family. “Padma aunty has no other business and you are also hooked onto this? Women are flying in rockets to the space and you want me to get married and have a family in my teens. You are incorrigible mom.” My dad came running from his room after he heard our huge altercation, intervened and convinced me that nothing will change by just seeing the family today. My mom who was adamant about her decision asked me to take a look at the boy’s photograph which she had kept on the dining table. I neither bothered her words nor the photograph, scurried to my college in dismay.

At my college I was completely preoccupied with the discussions I had with my mom in the morning. I was determined not to go home early. I thought by not showing up the “prospective alliance” in my mom’s terms would be humiliated and would never want this marriage though my actual intentions were not to affront them but in reality oppose my mom’s impulsive idea.

I returned home late two hours more than the usual time. I sensed my mom fuming from within waiting to pounce on me. My dad was sitting on the couch reading something. There was an air of tense at my home. I walked silently inside my room. My mom stopped me and much to my anticipation she started her interrogation session enquiring me about my late arrival. “I told you I was not interested in this whole thing. It’s not my fault. You can’t force me into something that I am not ready for.” as I fired back at her, my dad walked up to my mom, held her by her shoulder and told “Geetha, let go. I warned you about this yesterday. I would also take Madhoo’s side. Let her finish her education and work if she likes. We will find a better proposal for her marriage when time comes. Don’t worry now.”  He comforted my mom and went into their room though my mom was disappointed. I stood there gaping at my dad’s contained reaction, chuckled to myself watching an avalanche just fade away mellifluously.

A year passed by and I successfully completed my computer engineering and got placed into a huge multinational company from my campus. With a sense of gratification of fulfilling the first steps of my aspiration I was walking triumphantly on the first day into my company’s conference hall for the induction programme. There were many new joiners, college pass-outs like me sitting in the hall waiting for the orientation to commence. Some senior staff handed over the induction kit to each of us while another employee was briefing us up on the company’s policies, terms and conditions. After the first half of the session followed by lunch break, as we were all gearing up for the second half session, I saw Vishwanathan fondly called as Vishwa by everyone at the office, walked on to the dais, welcomed us and started speaking on the company’s overall performance and their expectations on us. My eyes were fixed on his speech - correction - ‘on him’. He was extremely handsome, tall, with an amazing diction stood there on that platform in a gallant posture, definitely the cynosure of all eyes. I turned around and noticed every single girl’s jaw dropped and leching at him profoundly. That night I could not get my mind out of Vishwa. I was brooding about his speech, about him as I dozed off unknowingly.

After a month of fundamental training followed by another month of domain specific training I was allotted my project and team. Three of us including me from my group joined the same project. We reported the next day to our team. Some of our senior team members were having a casual chat with us while we were waiting for our team lead to take us forward. There again after two months I saw Vishwa.  He was my team lead and I was going to work for his project. My joy knew no bounds with the feeling that I will get to see him every day. I was sitting calm and composed suppressing my ecstasy within. Vishwa smiled at us stopped at me and asked my name. “Hi I am Madhoo, August 2^nd batch new joiner” as I told nervously he looked into my eyes for a moment as though we knew each other for ages and then moved to the next person for their introduction. “Welcome everybody! I am Vishwanathan your team lead.  These are your project manuals. Please go through them. Each of you will get a mentor to assist you in the initial days of your project activities. You will get your systems probably in a week or so. If you have any queries you can reach out to me anytime. Take your time and settle down folks.”  While the others were glancing through the manuals that Vishwa handed over to us, I was watching him walk to his chamber. He sat on his chair, looked back and stared at me. Suddenly I became conscious, sunk into my chair and buried my face into the manual.

A month passed by. I built an affable rapport with Vishwa. He used to join us for lunch and chit chat on various things besides work. Slowly and steadily I developed an immense liking towards Vishwa. He was very sweet and adorable, immensely considerate about each of us in the team especially me. At times he used to drop me home on the days I missed my office cab. Our bond grew stronger day after day. I felt a peculiar connection between me and Vishwa. I was not sure if this was love though I received a very positive sign from him towards me during various instances.

My mom started marriage discussions again this time with my dad also by her side. I was in a fix. I was not sure if I should just go my mom’s proposals or confess my love for Vishwa. Finally I decided I should talk to him and get things clear with him. That Saturday we met at a coffee shop. “This is a nice shop Madhoo. I have never been here before” as Vishwa started the conversation I broke the news “My parents are looking out for marriage proposals for me but I am not interested in them” I struggled and choked and finally made it open “I think I am in love with you Vishwa... “With a sense of ease and relief I looked at him. He was stunned. After a minute’s silence Vishwa spoke. “This is so surreal. I was waiting for these words to come from you as I did not want to take a second chance. When I met you the first time I knew you did not recognize me. I was the guy who came to see you at your house two years ago. When I saw your photo for the first time something within made me feel that you are the one. With great hopes I came to meet you but left totally disappointed. After that in spite of my parents persistent attempts to find a suitable match for me, I was reluctant, disinterested. The first time I saw you in my team I was overwhelmed but realized that you never knew me. But I was glad that we got an opportunity to know each other better.”

 I was appalled, awestruck, perplexed, with an extreme sense of remorse for disgracing him and his family I sat across with a whole lot of mixed emotions churning me as I heard Vishwa utter those words. I decided to break the stereotype and propose him instead and help me overcome my guilt for my misdoing. I knelt down and held his hands and told “Will you marry me?” With a jubilant smile on his face he told “I will dear indeed dying to ....” I knew my parents will be happy especially my mom. I was a little anxious about his parents’ acceptance specifically after that commotion but I knew Vishwa will convince them as we are destined to be married together.